Our pals over at oulala.com have come up with the answer.
They reckon it takes six different parts - a head, a brain, height, a couple of legs and both feet - and have come up with who from the Premier League would provide those for an ideal player.
Oulala.com
The breakdown
David Silva has scored more left-footed goals than anyone else this season (11), so his wand makes the cut.
While team-mate Sergio Aguero has scored more right-footed goals than anyone else (13).
West Ham's Diafra Sakho leads the Premier League for headed goals with 5 of his 10 coming off his head
The brain is provided by Chelsea midfielder Cesc Fabrega - who has provided the most successful passes in the Premier League (1,808) and the most assists (16).
Eden Hazard offers the legs to the perfect player as the most successful dribbler in the Premier League with 135 successful attempts at a rate of 64%.
Peter Crouch of Stoke City has won the most aerial duels in the Premier League this season with 138, a success rate of 60%, so he gets the height.
Player Profile Eden Hazard
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