'I want him to love again' Lynda Bellingham's heartfelt wish for husband after her death
AFTER revealing that she has made the brave decision to stop chemotherapy in November, Lynda Bellingham has revealed her fears at the upset she will leave behind.
The star, who said she will most likely pass away in January after stopping treatment, admitted she is most scared that her husband Michael Pattermore will be alone, and hopes he will find someone else.
Speaking to The Sun, the 66-year-old said that she hopes he will move back to his home county of Somerset and find a companion that he can enjoy the rest of his life with.
Lynda met Michael in 2008 and has revealed that she is hoping her sons from her second marriage will look after him when she passes.
"I'm not scared of dying. Dying is much worse for the people left behind."
"There were so many things that I wanted to do," she said.
"But I hope my sons will use my energy and look after my hubby and love each other. I am sad I will not see who they marry, or live with… I know in my heart they have so much to give someone who will unlock their dreams."
Lynda was diagnosed with colon cancer 14 months ago.
The disease was already in an advanced stage, having spread to her lungs and liver.
And while initially her doctors said she could fight the disease, the actress has decided to stop treatment after it proved too telling on her body.
Writing in her memoirs, which have been serialised in the Daily Mail, she said: "I am on such strong chemo now that my body is finally protesting.
"I decided when I will die."
She added: "I would love to make one more Christmas, if possible, but I want to stop taking chemo around November in order to pass away by the end of January."
Lynda's decision comes after a significant increase in the pain she's suffering as she undergoes chemotherapy to try and rid herself of the cancer.
She explained: "I was in such pain and discomfort I decided to go into the clinic and get some help with the symptoms."
Lynda wants to die at home, and Micheal has booked neighbouring plots for him and her at a Somerset cemetery.
Her funeral is all taken care of, with Lynda asking her loved ones to have a a big party after the service.
But for all her organisation, the star knows she has no say over what happens at the end.
She said: "I can't organise the moment of my death. I'm not scared of dying. Dying is much worse for the people left behind. If I could have a little moment to say goodbye to them all and the do the old morphine and just go to sleep, that would be fine. I just want to get it over - I'm a very tidy person."
